Here is P with Mayor Potter on another occasion when she managed NOT to shout out obscenities.
And here is one (more) of my stories about swearing.
When V was in preschool he had a little problem with the potty mouth--that is, he swore like a sailor.
I was stumped as to what to do about it when we saw the Simpsons episode where Homer builds a dog house and Ned Flanders catches him swearing. I believe I've mentioned before that the only parenting techniques my kids buy into are ones they've seen on the Simpsons. Homer bets his neighbor that if he can stop swearing, Ned will shave his mustache. So Marge makes Homer a "Swear Jar" and charges him a quarter a curse. Highlights here: http://tinyurl.com/ow4aqg
P thought this seemed like a good idea but we were stumped by the question "what constitutes a swear word?" We happened to be listening to lots of Spearhead at the time and one of our favorite songs was "Love is Da Shit That Makes Life Bloom". Hello Mother of Mixed Messages!
We had a good discussion about artistic license and decided that we needed to establish some kind of a guide for what was a swear word. While we were at it the kids thought it would be helpful to add some alternatives and also point out any exceptions.
Then began one of my favorite listening sessions. The kids were about 4,6 and 8. V was the expert so the other two kept asking him, "Okay, whats another swear word" and he'd rattle off another word he knew he wasn't supposed to say. I helped them set up a chart on the computer but left it up to them to fill it out. I answered questions like "Mom how do you spell Bastard?", "Is a Bitch a boy or a girl dog?" "Is it okay to say Shit when you are pooping?"
I've done a pretty poor job of recreating it here (the original was much longer and had wonderful misspellings):
But you get the idea. And by the way, after they went through the exercise, they pretty much stopped swearing. I got the most quarters from Charlie who sometimes would swear just so they would catch him at it. I think we collected enough to buy a carton of Ben and Jerry's before it became just a favorite relic.
Lets hear your great swear stories--I'm hereby exercising my artistic license to encourage you all to swear in these posts!
I think my favorite is still when V got all mad at K for some big-brotherly thing he had done and I was consoling him and trying to mediate when Vic hissed out the most venomous and hateful, "Fucker!" I was taken aback, but I think it was my uncontrolled laughter that dispelled the situation.
ReplyDeleteMy teenager learned the hard way that the way he talks with his friends (full of swear words) becomes a habit, that can be a detriment in stressful situations - he swore by mistake in a scholarship interview because he was so tense. He knew he blew it. The swearing noticeably decreased after that.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I encourage my kids to keep up their great ability to swear in Arabic. It's a really good skill to have. "May God destroy the house of your grandmother's dog's religion" and stuff like that. :)
Anna--bilingual swearing is a skill i wish I had!
ReplyDeleteMost of the swearing and swearing talk centers around M&B recalling all the swear words I have used and reminding me.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I did catch Bobby flashing the finger at his dad as he turned his back on him, but it happened to be a moment when mine was ithcing to flash too, so what can you say???
Abi was barely 2 when we sat down to lunch one day. i don't recall waht i had fixed, but let's say it wasn't on her top 5 list for desirable lunch that day. she looks down at her plate and shakes her head and mumbles, "goddammit, i didn't want this". i turn my head so she can't see me laughing and i try to explain how we should use different words to talk about our feelings. i get up to get a glass of water and i hear her singing ever so faintly, "i like to sing goddammit...goddammit...goddammit, i like to sing..". Let's just say the kid gets an A+ for creativity. If she can't say it, she's a gonna sing it!
ReplyDeleteWhen did i cuss in front of 300 people in a microphone?
ReplyDeleteP---Children's Bill of Rights, 2006
ReplyDeleteI have 3 nephews, 4 nieces, 8 cousins, an uncle, and two godchildren on Facebook, plus the parents of all 8 of my godchildren on there as well...I guess I should be the example I am supposed to be. Shit! I mean, darn.
ReplyDeleteWith my three sisters and their kids, I have heard a good number of swearing stories. My first swear word was damn. Yeah reeeeal bad, I know. I was about 2 or 3 and my Mom was doing a yo-yo trick, but messed up. So I said, "Aww damn." Shocked them at least. :-)
Oh where to start...there are so many.
ReplyDeleteI think my favorite and most recent swear word teaching moment happened with in the last few months (it is hard to remember as time moves so swiftly for the aging).
My son and I had just re-had the conversation about how there is always another word for the expletive you are thinking you are about to use. Specifically the F-word. Basically my position.
A's position was that the f-word really didn't mean the same thing anymore, for example it was used as a greeting for homongenous teenagers.
This went back and forth for more than one car ride.
Also going on at this time was an aquarium infection in one of A's favorite cichlid's (big fish, without a favorable conclusion). This required more one water change. As you may be able to gather from there what happened next. As I pass by his room and I see water flowing over the top of the tank into the his dresser fillin up drawers, onto the floor and and under the bed and onto the carpet and all over all of the clothes, towels, socks, ect., he doesn't pick up.
The first four words out of my mouth were also the first four words uttered in "Four Weddings and a Funeral". Basically F***, F***, F***,F***. Actually realizing as I uttering them, that the case was closed and maybe it was just another way to greet your homogenous teenage friends.